


These Tangled Mortal Lives

by Froggy1988



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Angel/Demon Relationship, Gen, Multi, Original Universe, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26891818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Froggy1988/pseuds/Froggy1988
Summary: The angel Rapunzel and the demon Varian meet in Corona to choose a mortal subject for a bet.Tangled done Good Omens style.
Comments: 49
Kudos: 39





	These Tangled Mortal Lives

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Queen of black-Hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Queen+of+black-Hearts).



> This has taken me way to long. Dear Queen of black-Hearts, I cannot write the story in your head, and I hope one day you’ll feel able to, it sounds amazing. Please accept this rather small gift, It might not be what you were thinking but I found the route that I was most comfortable with (I’m only realising how uncomfortable religious stuff makes me, but I can do tongue in cheek), it’s Tangled crossed with Good Omens. If you like it, I’ll look at making it into a short series, or you can use it however you wish. 
> 
> The ideas for this were by Queen of Black-Hearts, you can assume that any bits you enjoy are due to her wonderful ideas, and any bits you hate are due to my poor execution of them.
> 
> Warning: Passing mention of underage sex.

The angel automatically recognised the demon as he walked across the town square. They were always able to recognise each other, there were energies, a gravity that they processed that no mortal could see or even begin to understand. Yet, in the case of this particular angel and demon they recognised each other because they had catch ups over whatever beverage was in fashion every few decades. They were actually friends, or rather as friendly as an angel and demon could get. Which is a lot more friendly than most people would expect.

“Rapunzel.” The demon joined her, leaning against the wall of the bakery.

“Varian.” She replied in greeting. “Why do you always take the form of a fourteen-year-old boy?”

  
“Because there is nothing more sinister than a fourteen-year-old boy with fear and hate in his heart, they have no concept of their mortally, no limits to their creative cruelty. I love fourteen-year-old boys.”  
  


“Sometimes in the biblical sense.” Rapunzel said, continuing to watch the people as they moved around the city square.

Varian shrugged.

“And what about you? We’re meant to try and keep unnoticed, so why do you take the form of such a nubile young girl when you know that half the men get hard just looking at you?”  
  


“They do not!” Rapunzel gasped with exagerated outraged. “ When they are attracted to me it is simply because it is human nature to be attracted to goodness and light, and they sense my goodness.”  
  


“Then why are their thoughts so evil when they look at you?”  
  


“They are not.”  
  


“That one over there.” He said pointing to a strong young man who was glancing their way. “He’s a fisherman called Duncan, and right now he’s thinking about tying you to the mast of his boat and sodomising you.”

The angel Rapunzel looked closer at the fisherman, if she concentrated she could see into the thoughts of mortals but intruding on people’s privacy always left her feeling a little dirty.

“Oh dear, and I really don’t like the smell of fish.”  
  


Varian sniggered.

“Of course that is what you’d take away from that.”  
  


“All mortal lives are precious to our lord, and all can be saved.”  
  


“It’s a shame that dousn’t hold true for his angels.”  
  


“You picked which side of history you wanted to be on.”  
  


“I didn’t so much pick as dithered in the grey area until the choice was made for me.”  
  


“There are no grey areas.”  
  


“You see that’s where you and I differ Rapunzel, I can see all the shades of darkness, a symphony of blacks and greys, you’re just blinded by the light.”  
  


“So, what are we doing here again?” Rapunzel asked looking around. “It’s a pretty little town, but not one of your most scenic spots, and I wouldn’t say it was worth a third visit. Though I am glad that you haven’t led me into a plague, or a battlefield this time. Honestly, when you get to pick our meet up spots I never know what to expect.”  
  


“I enjoy chaos.”  
  


“Well, I enjoy places with nice artwork and cupcakes.”  
  


“When have I ever forgotten the cupcakes?” Varian reached into the satchel that he carried at his side and lifted out a cupcake with a pink swirl. Rapunzel’s face lit up as she reached for it.

“Oh thank you. You always know where to get the best ones.” She took a big bite and gave a happy little hum. “Delicious.”  
  


“I’m telling you; the worst people make the best cupcakes.”  
  


“Oh I’m sure that’s not true. Why would our lord give them such talents if they were naughty?”  
  


“Lord knows, but it’s true, the woman who made that one, she pretends that she sells them to raise funds for an orphanage, but she actually pockets it all.”  
  


Rapunzel’s eyes widened as she looked down at the cupcake.  
  


“Well, is she very poor?”  
  


“Nope, she’s very comfortable.”  
  


“Oh fiddlesticks, I’m not going to be able to enjoy this now, and the cupcakes were always the best part of seeing you.”  
  


“You don’t mean that.”  
  


“No, I don’t.” She admitted.   
  


“You appreciate my wit and uniqueness.”  
  


“You still haven’t told me why we’re in this little town again.”   
  


“Oh, I thought we were going to have one of our bets? Pick a person, play with them a bit, see if at the end they’re on the side of dark or the side of light.”

“I do not bet with the lives of mortals.” She said raising her head slightly in the air, as if she were above the idea.   
  


“Poppycock! To use one of your phrases. Of course you do, we’ve done it dozens of times.” Varian pointed out.

“I merely concentrate my energies on saving that particular one when you draw my attention to the fact that they might be struggling in your so-called grey area.”

“We’re five four to me. Don’t you want a chance to get even? Save another soul?”  
  


“Do you really enjoy sending them to damnation?”  
  


“Nah, not really.” Varian answered. “But, I enjoy educating them, giving them a choice. What they do with that choice is up to them, but I think that the choice is more important than the blind obedience that your lot prefers. They live such short lives, why shouldn’t they have a bit of fun, it’s not my fault that everything fun you lot class as evil.”  
  


“Not everything, tennis is allowed.”

“They’re clever little things, these mortals, for creatures that live for such a short time that is. I’m quite fond of them really, and I feel they deserve to have knowledge, to have a chance to question what they’re told by your institutions, to have free will.”  
  


Rapunzel was watching him closely as he talked, there was a real fondness between them, one that mortals probably wouldn’t understand. Sure, they were on different sides, but they didn’t let that get in the way of a friendship, and they’d known each other for thousands of years, that kind of time leads to a connection that humans can’t experience.

“I think that there’s a little bit of good in you Varian.” Rapunzel said.

“I think there’s a little bit of evil in you.”

“Nonsense.” She scoffed, but her words disappeared as her eyes alighted upon a man creeping around the edges of the square as if he were trying not to be seen. He had floppy brown hair and hazel eyes, with a goatee and well-defined features. She blushed lightly and Varian smirked, she never could keep anything from showing on her face when in this form.

“Oh, are you sure? Because those thoughts you’re having right now are a little bit on the evil side. Lust, that’s one of those seven deadly sins isn’t it? Like pride and gluttony.” He added.

“You can’t read my mind.” She said looking away.

“No, I’ve just known you for a long time. He’s one of ours you know, a thief, got to him early, In the orphanage outside of town. “

“An orphan? Oh poor thing, well it’s really not his fault then. He didn’t have parents to act as a moral compass when he was young. We should pick him; he deserves a second chance at goodness.”

“Not him.”  
  


“Why not?”  
  


“You would get distracted.”  
  


“Hmm…” She murmured distractedly as she watched the young man slip through the crowd. “Excuse me.” She said slipping away from Varian. He watched as she nimbly danced through the crowd her hand slipping into the thief’s pocket and taking out a pocket watch.

“Excuse me sir.” She shouted out to an old man whom moments before had almost been knocked over by the thief. “I think you dropped your watch.”  
  


“Oh, thank you my dear. That was a present from my wife. She died recently; it would have broken my heart if I’d lost it.”

Varian watched Rapunzel place her hand on the man’s shoulder in a sympathetic gesture. He could feel the small transfer of energy, as she sent a comforting warm surge of feelings to the man. He could also see the thief staring intently at Rapunzel a shocked look on his face. When she turned around she shot the handsome man a challenging look. Varian wondered if she realized how seductive she looked when she did that. He quickly dived into the man’s thoughts as he saw the man’s eyes widen and his mouth drop.

_Wow, she is beautiful, and she managed to pickpocket me… why haven’t I seen her before?_

The thief was still watching her as she walked back over to Varian.

“Maybe we should pick somebody pretty pure of heart this time, seeing that you’re down one, and let’s face it, you’re not the best angel.”  
  


“I was merely returning that wristwatch to that nice old man.”  
  


“You got his attention.”  
  


“Whose attention?”  
  


“You know whose. He’s still staring at you. If he wasn’t in the middle of planning something for somebody called the baron he’d try to seduce you. In fact he’s still considering it.”  
  


“Well, unlike you I do not do that, it’s too much bother.”  
  


“You can’t judge how much bother it is unless you know how much pay off you get from it, so without trying it you can’t judge.”

“I have no interest in such things.”  
  


“Liar.”  
  


“Well, It’s hard not to occasionally think about it, I mean, they are obsessed with it these humans. But, it is a sin.”  
  


“Why is it a sin?”  
  


“It’s not for me to question, just to accept.”  
  


Varian gave a large sigh.

“There’s no reason to continue this conversation again, I never change your mind. Let’s just choose a person, a good-hearted person, and maybe one who has a… shall we say slightly less pleasing shape than the thief. Ah! How about Monty?”

“Don’t talk to me about Monty.” Rapunzel huffed.

“Are angels supposed to hate?”

“I don’t hate him; I just have a little distaste for his smugness.”  
  


“I don’t see him as smug, I see kindness there, and lots of charity work. A clear win for you I’d think.”

“Not Monty!” Rapunzel said raising her voice, and then blushing she put her hand to her chest. “Oh, sorry, I’m not sure what came over me. How about the one with the Big Nose? He is the purest soul.” Rapunzel said with a smile on his face.

Varian gagged.

“Oh god, please, I can’t bear to be around that sop for a lifetime, not even a mortal one. Have you heard his poetry? It makes cats want to tear off their own ears.”

Rapunzel was about to answer when she saw Varian’s eyes narrow, he stilled as he watched somebody walk across to the fountain and sit down on the edge. The woman was in her early twenties, with black hair and greenish eyes. She was different from the other women who were walking through the town. She was wearing a loose tunic and pants, unlike the dresses that other wore, her hair was short unlike the other women. Rapunzel looked at her hard, trying to see into her soul, her past, her pain, her hopes all becoming clear to her in a single moment.

“Interesting, very interesting. “Varian muttered.

“She has a very good heart.” Rapunzel said.

“And yet, she’s got low self-esteem, she’s got hopes and dreams that aren’t coming into fruition and it’s making her angry. She’s unsatisfied with life. Also, I know who her mother was, she has the biggest suite ever down in hell. I mean the demons go to her for advice, she has quite a comfortable death considering.”

“Well this is going to be easy for me. All I have to do is teach her to enjoy the life she has and be thankful for what she’s got. She just needs a friend.”

“Hmm… No, I think you’ll find this is going to be easy for me, I just need to stir up that hate in her heart a little. And who’d expect it from a fourteen-year-old boy? An attractive one as well, I wonder if she’d like to play some of my little games with me.”

“Ah.” Rapunzel said turning on her heels to face the demon. “Being a fourteen-year-old boy is going to come back to bite you on your… ankles this time.”

“Arse, Rapunzel the phrase is bite me on my arse.”  
  


“I know it is, I just find it rather unsavoury.”

“Let the games begin.”  
  


“Not games, salvation!” Rapunzel said as she wondered off in the direction of the castle. “The King and Queen are childless, I believe I can convince them I am their long-lost princess; it’ll make them so happy. Besides, I can find a lonely little orphan deserving of love and with a little sprinkle of magic, when it’s time to leave I’ll put her in as my replacement, and everybody will live happily ever after.”

“And it has nothing to do with you wanting to live in a fancy castle, with fancy chefs?”  
  


“Absolutely not.”

“So many lies come out of your mouth angel. I’m just going to go find a place where I can blow shit up. I love fire, reminds me of home. Now where’s Ruddiger got to? Honestly, hellhounds, they’re always wandering off.”


End file.
